You can judge a man by the pictures on his phone...

It will come as no surprise to anyone that knows me that I got relatively drunk over the weekend. I'm not proud of that, I mention it only in to explain why its taken me until Thursday to dig out the two photos I planned to send to Idiot Toys; I'd forgotten that I found this little beauty of a remote, only for this morning for someone to have beaten me to it!!!

That's our writer Horse's remote and isn't it a beauty! All those buttons can't actually have a function...

Anyway, perusing my phone I realised that there was a fair bit of OhFFS content on my phone so I thought I'd upload and share.


I'll start with this bullshit being the result of a 3 hour drive to resolve a network problem, to get on site and find some cunt had forced an ethernet cable in upside down. That a whole other level of stupid surely?? I mean the fucking things clip in... you have to be pretty fucking retarded to not realise that...



I haven't sent this across to Idiot Toys as I wasn't so sure whether it constitutes as a gadget but I thought the Ying Yang style contrast of the innie and outie 3 pin plugs was kind of cool.


Driving about I saw this cunts registration which was quite obviously a LOLCat greeting to me... if it'dve been "H35 DEL" I'dve had to have it and put a black clip as an apostrophe to let people know that my car is telling them he's Del


Surely the bastard child of PacMan and one of Mr Men, Tumble Tots probably aren't paying licensing for their characters...


I meant to post this when it was relevant but I kept it as evidence of some of the clientèle I have to deal with on a daily basis... seriously... Cristmas.. you fucking moron...


It looked wrong, it smelt wrong, it tasted wrong AND it gave me the shits for two days. Thats right... its Ikeas Salmon and Chicken Rice... highly recommended if you need a few days off work and can put up with gastroenteritis whilst enjoying the sunshine... :|


This kept me amused for an entire bottle of red wine at the works Christmas party, dissecting every angle of what quite obviously is the Renaissance's version of gay porn.. my drunken rambling on this confirmed to my colleagues that I am indeed a closet nutter...




Last but not least, these were some Speed Awareness posters issued by Blackpool Council that were in the brew room at my office. I started to write a blog about them but got side tracked by other things.

It was the tag line that pissed me off the most. No more deaths on Blackpools roads??? Fuck That! Blackpools roads need more deaths...

To be quite honest Blackpool Council don't have a fucking clue when it comes to cleaning up the streets here. Anyone thats ever had the misfortune of driving through the town will know that most of the dumb cunts that walk out in front of cars here are chav scum, deserving to get knocked down. Most are either pissed, cracked off their faces or just think they're harder than a car, all deserving that my angry little face behind the wheel be the last thing they see before they meet their maker.

30 or less... wankers... bull bars should be mandatory and the speed limit should be a minimum, not a maximum...


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