Why oh why the fuck do some cuntwits get paid to investigate utter dog-egg "stories" is beyond me. For fear of repeating myself, I haven't got time for local journalists anymore. They hurt my brain. I'd rather spoon my own eyes out than be forced to read their mickey-mouse bullshit. So here is a summary of today's woeful Birmingham News, brought to the fucking point. And finished with a cherry on top, so sweet and sugar coated it'll tickle your balls as it slips down the throat.