Just a quick one that I had to share. I'm in the back garden doing my Alan Titchditch bit and I can hear two young chavs talking to each other in that drone all chavs do, and I receive one of those lines you just couldn't write.

"Whats sandpaper made of? Glass??"

I burst into hysterical laughter. I bit my tongue pretty hard so as to not shout across about there being a pretty big fucking clue right there in the name.

"I dunno mate" the other one replied.

Do you cast a eye over the gutterpress when buying your milk in the morning and shake your head to the point of injury over the latest Blame Culture article over some moron sueing their employers because they were too stupid to walk on a wet floor?

Good. Me too!

Teachers are telling us in a survey that schools are "too safe" and the concept of common sense is a distant memory. Do you know who are to blame for this? Chavs.

No doubts this is the funniest thing you'll see all day... and potentially all year!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/7598674.stm

(Had to link to it... fucking BBC)

So I'm selling my ChavMobile on eBay (I bought it about 3 weeks ago as a cheap thrill to replace my FTO but it proved to be exactly like its owner; a fucking dirty, smelly chav cunt and was fucked from Day 1) and the worst part of it is dealing with a ridiculous amount of inane offers I've been getting off the Chav masses. I've decided that I don't care what excuses chavs in schools give about their learning difficulties, they're all lies and really, they're all just thick as fuck.

Now this kind of thing really fucks me off big time -

http://www.wigantoday.net/wigan-news/Windfall-to-boost-bored-youngsters....

Yep - money for "disadvantaged" kids/teens. Basically this is where they give yet another opportunity for little criminals to have something interesting for being evil. Another reward for being a little cunt who deserves to die. I cant fucking stand it.

Had the following call about 1 hour ago from an "Intelligent Fucking Customer". This is real.

"[Dr Hamhock,] sorry but it's really to do with the state of our country at the moment. Could you arrange for your final skip to be collected as soon as possible.
The skip you were using outside my store, some little scummers pulled all the wood and stuff out of it last night and proceeded to make a big bonfire up against the wall of our shop.
The old man [the shop owner's Father] luckily managed to take some photos of the them in the act....BUT......

Well I'll start my blog on my utter hatred for the the greatest social mobiliser, yet the greatest bane on mankind, the Automobile.

There is perhaps no lesser example of human intolerance and arrogance than the various forms of the internal combustion engine powering our atrophied, fat, lazy bodies through the dead corpses of millions of years old sea life.