Why the long face? Because I'm a Dickhead Horse, that's why...

On par for my hate for chavs has to be my hate for horses. If you hadn't guessed at the time, HorseHaterX was indeed me. He was going to be my alter ego for reigning hate down of the big, ugly, smelly douchebags, without having to taint my own name with animal cruelty. But like most things in life, it got put on the back burner and my only form of horse hatred relief is swearing, then flipping off whilst beeping my horn at the cunts as I drive by on public roads whilst they enjoy a nice big shit. Cunts.

I can't rationally explain my hatred for horse. I think it all stems from the things they represent; pomposity, self righteousness, over-zealous owners, arrogance. All values I stand against or have a loathing for.

That and their stupid, long faces that just beg for a punch...

Anyway, today I had the misfortune of sitting through Cash in the Attic. I'm not proud of watching day time TV, I was feeding the boy and trying to change channels with my feet, then kicked the remote out of reach. It could've been worse... if I'dve flicked to Jeremy Kyle, my wrists would be cut and I'd be enjoying a nice bath right about now...

On today was an old guy, probably mid to late 70s and his much younger, grave digging wife and her daughter. I say her daughter, I was only half watching it so I will assume it was given the cold hearted approach she took towards her step fathers material possessions. In any case, the women of the household were some of my most despised on the planet...

No, not Playstation 3 owners... they were indeed Horse People.

Even my missus comments on how cruel and callous the women were in todays plight for cash. They were selling all Daddies cherished mementos including things that had been handed down to him from 3 generations, for a fucking horse box! They weren't even kidding when they were eagerly rummaging around her husbands attic, like kids in a candy store, for £1500 to buy a horse box.

The only good horse box is called a coffin and should be buried 6 foot under with the dopey fuckwit still alive inside, deservedly suffering through the last moments of its life.

Unfortunately a Horse Box turned out to be a glorified shed with wheels for taking the ugly shit stains to the glue factory... I mean where else would you be taking a horse?!

And whilst I'm quite cantankerous with my writing towards the creatures, in all seriousness I was appalled with these two women taking this obviously bewildered old man for a ride. Fucking Horse People will do that though, it's in their nature...

In the end they managed to get him to part with double their initial requirement of goods in his house and raised just over £3000. You would think the old guy would get to buy something that he wanted (perhaps a Thai mail-order Bride, given his obvious liking for Gold Digging Whores) but no... she raised the bar and invited her "friend" around who owned a motor home style horse box, that just happened to be for sale, and then wanted to use the £3k as a DEPOSIT for this luxury Green Mile for horses!

Horse People.... cunts to a man (or woman in this case).

Fucking Horses...I knew I could rely on them to get me back into OhFFS! All I need now is Gordon Brown to live up to his usual numb nuts self and I'll be back to full strength.

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