A Birmingham bus driver, yesterday.
Dressed like a cigarette.

11 days ago, the act of horribly ripping one's shoulder out of it's socket was not pleasant, but the subsequent 18 hours of hospitalisation was pretty good really, so there's no real need to give Birmingham's medical staff any shit on this here website. With bad-arm strapped down, the cunts one meets in the days following beggar belief. Little did I know that once (temporarily) disabled, a world of idiots slide out to haunt ye. Let's just pretend 'LiveJournal' hasn't been invented yet and the brand we're pushing today is one we call 'Faecebook'.

1) Some Professional Cunts
Struggling with multiple shopping bags in one hand, 'juggling my bags' at a shop till following payment, scummers start Space Invading. Dammit even the sale assistant's scream "next please" while I'm in the act of pouring the contents of my 'flimsy sack' over the floor.

2) A Twat
Walking down the street, cigarette in my one good hand, pricks distributing fliers/leaflets to my bad arm WHICH IS TUCKED UNDER MY FUCKING JUMPER.

3) An Ignorant Prick
Getting on the bus, show my sparkley new bus-pass (driving banned for 3 weeks), then immediately having to hang-on for dear life, wobbling my way down to and empty seat, while the ignorant cunt of a bus driver steams off full speed, thinking he's Micheal fucking Schumacher. Only a taller, poorer, uglier version wearing high vis' vest.

4) Relentless Joviality
Workmates and 'funny' people referring to my "wanker's cramp. Funny first, amusing the second, humorous the third, dead-inside the fourth, anger the fifth, postal the sixth.

5) The Biggest Cock
That'll be the idiot who ripped his shoulder out and now wipes his arse with his left hand.

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